Luke is One Month Old!

I can hardly believe that a whole month has passed since Luke joined our family. In a way, it seems like he’s been with us forever – I’m beginning to not be able to imagine life without him. But at the same time, this past month has really flown by (doesn’t it always?)
Luke is doing wonderfully. His 1 month checkup was today and he weighed at 8 lb 15 oz. He gained 1 lb 14 oz in 3 weeks (at his one week checkup, he was 7 lb 1 oz), also up 1 lb 2 oz from his birthweight of 7 lb 13 oz. I think mama’s milk is working well! He’s 21″ now, so he’s grown 1 1/4″ since birth. Our Dr O was happy with how he’s doing and so am I.
I am really enjoying not having him spit up all over the place like Joshua. When Joshua was a baby, I’d have to change my shirt multiple times a day because I’d end up drenched from his projectile spit up. Poor baby had such awful reflux. Luke barely spits up at all. Thank You, Lord!
Luke is a pretty good sleeper at night. He’ll usually go a 5-6 hour stretch and then another 3-4 hour stretch. Very nice, especially for a breastfed baby.
Nursing is still going really well. I’m still amazed at how well it’s going. However, I’m going to stop.
I haven’t posted too much about it (I’ve been trying to stay optimistic,) but I’m not doing well at all. I’m beyond exhausted. I have no energy and I’m really struggling to take care of my family. I feel pretty well recovered from the c-section and now that I’m “past” that, it’s become more apparent how poorly I’m doing. It’s not so much lack of sleep – because Luke is a pretty good sleeper and my wonderful husband often feeds him a bottle of formula at his first feeding so I can get more rest – but more that I have no energy. I struggle to get up in the morning. I struggle to do normal, simple things around the house. If I do “too much” and by that I mean simply getting the kids up, breakfast, and emptying the dishwasher, I’m wiped out and need to sit on the couch for a couple hours or I feel like I will collapse.
I’m still anemic. I’m taking Floradix iron supplements and eating lots of iron rich foods – steak, molasses, spinach, and other things. My doctor is pretty sure I also have something called “adrenal fatigue” which would explain a lot of my symptoms.The remedies she normally recommends to treat that are off-limits while nursing, so she is “looking into it” for me.
I told Nate that if my energy levels didn’t start to improve soon, I would consider stopping nursing. It’s now been almost 2 weeks since I said that & no improvement. Not even a little bit. I have said all along that I would just take nursing one day at a time and if it went well, great, and if it didn’t, I wasn’t going to hold myself to it. Nursing by itself is going well, but indirectly, it’s really affecting my overall health at this point.
I did not nurse Joshua, and while I was recovering from my 3rd c-section with 2 small children and a very colicy newborn to care for, and yes, I was anemic then too, I still recovered quickly. Not only was I pretty much fully back on my feet when Joshua turned 1 month old, but I also started a daily cardio exercise program and I felt great. There is absolutely no way I could exercise at this point. The main difference is that I wasn’t nursing Joshua & I am nursing Luke.
When Luke went through his growth spurt last weekend and into the beginning of this week, where he was nursing a lot, I started getting extremely dizzy everytime I would stand up. Then everything would go black when I’d stand up and I would almost pass out. This happened more times than I can count on Monday and Tuesday. And that’s happened a couple times the past 2 days and already even once today. Just a little bit scary for me.
I’ve been praying about this for the past week and after talking with my mom last night, who really encouraged me and helped me to see the “big picture,” I felt led to make the decision.This isn’t just about Luke. It’s about my whole family.
Nate’s been giving Luke a bottle of formula at night 3-4 times a week. I know he’ll take a bottle. I also know that he does fine with the formula – he’s not gassy or spitting up or fussy afterward. While formula feeding isn’t as good as breastfeeding, he’ll be just fine. My whole family will be much better and ultimately healthier and happier because I will finally be able to fully recover and get back to normal. It’s been months since my family has had a “normal wife/mom” and we all desperately need that at this point.
I say all this, not to justify my decision to others, but for me. I nursed Luke for a full month and I’m very proud of that. But quitting at this point is what I need to do and while I think there’s always a little bit of “mommy guilt” regardless of what happens (I’ve been feeling horribly guilty the past few months for not being able to take care of the rest of my family!) I feel very peaceful about this and I know it’s the right choice for us.
*****
So back to the family! Everyone else is doing pretty good.
Nate has continued to do very well after that accident and has had no further pain or issues, aside from a little extra soreness in his neck & shoulders after he shoveled the driveway. (But who wouldn’t?!) I continue to thank the Lord many times a day for His mercy in protecting my husband!
How about these gorgeous dozen roses from my incredible husband?
Nathan is doing well with our slowly-starting-back-to-school schedule. We’re not quite up to “normal” with it all yet, but we are doing some and he always does much better when school is in session. He’s working on long division with remainders and more detailed “story problems” in math (his favorite subject) and is really enjoying that.
One short Nathan story – we were talking about Luke’s umbilical cord stump, which had fallen off when Luke was just a few days old, and Nathan was curious. I explained it to him and he seemed to understand. Later, I overheard him talking to Emily and instead of “umbilical cord,” he called it the “extension cord.” Lol!
Emily is my good little “mommy’s helper.” She loves to hold Luke and give him his binky if he fusses or “watches” him for me so I can get the kids lunch or something. Today, I was busy in the other room and Luke was in the swing, when he started fussing. She carefully picked him up and brought him to the couch (just a couple feet over carpet) where I found them snuggled together a few minutes later.
Joshua is doing great. I wasn’t sure how he’d react to Luke, but aside from a tiny bit of jealousy the first day home from the hospital, he’s adjusted very well and he absolutely loves his little brother. He asks to “hold” Luke several times a day. He’ll hold out his arms and mumble about “baby” and I say “Do you want to hold Luke?!” and he just beams and says “YEAH!” I’ll help him “hold” the baby and usually after all of 5 seconds, he’s done and pushes Luke back toward me. But not before he kisses the baby with a loud wet smooch. It’s just the cutest thing. One of these days I’ll try to get it on video and share it.
We have a lot of snow on the ground still:
Luke went out too – just briefly – he wasn’t too happy about it:
 
 
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Erika
About the Author

Erika, the founder of Musings From a SAHM, is happily married and a homeschooling mom to four children. She lives in New Hampshire and has a passion for writing, encouraging other moms, her family, and Jesus. She also enjoys baking, spending time with friends, and is an aspiring photographer.

Comments

  1. I just love these beautiful photos!
    Don't let the mommy guilt get you. You breastfed him for a month, which is great, but it really sounds like this is what you need to do in order to be able to get back to normal. Utlimately, that will make you a better mommy for everyone.
    I really struggled getting back to normal after Josef was born (he's five months now). I think being on bedrest before the birth really makes it harder to recover. Josef was three months old by the time I really felt normal again. I had absolutely no energy, even when he slept well. I felt like I could hardly function. I was able to keep breastfeeding, but I don't think I would have if I had other small children at home.

  2. Thanks so much, Redeemed. You are so sweet. I totally agree about bedrest making it harder to get back on your feet too!
    Thanks again – ((HUGS))

  3. Oh.my.goodness. Luke is adorable! I keep scrolling back up to look at him. :) SOOOO cute!!

    Hope you are feeling better soon.

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